Friday, August 17, 2012

Pushing boundaries. Just not too much.

I love music. I really do. I love Alex Goot, Kate Nash, Regina Spektor, Dia Frampton, Sierra Boggess, and much, much more. But sometimes their talent overwhelms and makes me think all the time "why can't I be like them?" I found myself comparing myself to these people all the time and it just puts me down. They should be inspiring, not demotivating. I've finally realized that that's all that I ever do. I compare myself to EVERYONE.

Whether he reads this or not, Daniel has been my rock for such a long time now and has listened to me when I complain and whine. Somehow, that boy is always so positive. Actually, it's to the point that it's sometimes super scary. I've definititly learned huge life lessons from this old senior though. First of all, "yolo" even though I hate it when he says that. It's true though. Life is too short for regrets. I'm only 16, but I always regret this and regret that... While I'm obsessing over my regrets, I get distracted and don't do things that I will also regret later on in life. Next of all, I've learned from him that you should enjoy the things that you're doing. Last of all, you should always push yourself but not to the point you go psycho. And that's exactly what I've been doing to myself. The whole pushing myself too much part. I always try to push myself and put others on a pedestal that I try to grasp. I'm not saying that having big dreams is bad but too much of something is never good. That's why it's TOO much. There's much more that I've learned, but my brain is too energetic and fuzzy right now. I'm sober! I swear! But anyways, thanks Daniel for everything. You are truly an inspiration and I have a deep respect for you even though I tell you that I hate you all the time. Keep chasing your dreams and enjoy your new life in Cali to follow it. :)

I'm a changed person today. No more comparing myself to others so vigorously, but feel inspired by others. Play music to enjoy it, not stress. If stressed, take a deep breath and know that everything can be overcome. And stop sticking your face onto a screen whether it be a phone, a T.V., or a laptop. Pay attention to the real world and appreciate your loved ones.

My last post was full of angst and frustration... And I feel kind of bad for posting it because it's something that was personal to me, but sometimes that side of me needs to be shown instead of being shoved deep down in this 5'3" body of mine. Actually, I'm 5'3.5" now. :)

Today, I was happy. I had fun playing the piano, singing, and playing the guitar. I danced with my sister like an idiot. Had a first "official" movie night with my family watching Jurassic Park with all the lights down. And ate a crazy amount of calories because I was hungry. No stress. Just enjoyment and pleasure.

P.S. Uncle Hai turned 24 and went skydiving! We ate at the Ram and their ice cream cupcake was delish. I have pictures, but it requires me getting up to upload so that's not happening... :)

No comments:

Post a Comment